Survived seperation anxiety!

I have never been one to like getting ready for vacation. NEVER. When the kids were little and I had to pack for them whether they were coming with us or not it was sooo hectic and sooo much more to do than the norm. Making sure everything was just right before leaving. Well this time I believe was the worst. Even though the kids basically pack for themselves now I have to leave 6 pages of notes for one to read while we are gone on how to operate the house and to take care of DU. My heart ached worse and worse till I had to tear myself away and get in the car while DU looked at me like " where are you going and why are you leaving me behind?" It took 3 days to decompress. I am not exaggerating at all. But when I finally did I really didn't worry about him anymore. The kids knew what to do and seemed to be making out fine... unless they lied. The terrible thing to admit was that I didn't want to come home. I even let my mind wander what it would be like to not have a dog to "take care" of"? I feel guilty that I feel that way. As time drew nearer and miles came shorter to home, I grew anxious to see him again, but a nawing in my gut, that I was going back to take care of him again. Then I found myself grateful. Grateful that it was my dog and not one of my children, or husband or mother or father. I am not sure why God has given me this trial to bear. I am sure he has perfect reason and I need to stop asking him why? I continue to pray for a miracle. DU is still inconinent and still needs help getting up once in awhile. His tail is wagging more and more all the time. I noticed that when I came home. It almost seems as if he is using the tail to steer his hips like a sail stears a boat. God only knows what he has in store for the big fella and me.